I have been reading a book for the last three days. The book was called In Search of Eden by Linda Nichols. I took away so much from this book!
There were so many stories that really tapped into my own life combined into one book. It amazing how fiction can often mimic reality. The lesson that will stick with me the most is that by constantly seeking perfection, we can miss out on all the good. Wow!
I know that in my own daily life I do have this problem. I often finding myself expecting more from people than they are capable of giving. I don't mean this in a bad way. I mean that I expect them to be or do what is not possible. I set a standard for how I want them to be, and not so much how they are. This has been a struggle of mine for years. Even if they are an overachiever, I somehow get upset with them that they are too good. It is really a lose-lose situation.
Of course, this is something that I work on daily. Daily!!! LOL. I will continue working on it. I know that people cannot live up to the expectation I set for them, but the one God has for them. Even if it is to only live a life of selfless love and compassion. That is good enough.
I will quit seeking perfection in my own life and start appreciating the good. This is definitely a goal for this year, and for life continuing...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
It can still catch you off guard...
Always appreciate family... it is gone so fast... so soon...
I have told my husband repeatedly over the years to celebrate when I go. I know this may sound morbid to some, but those are the ones who do not understand how deep this road of faith leads. I used to have such a fear of death. It was almost paralyzing in its entirety. Sometimes I would sit at home and worry only about dying! What is that! LOL... As I evolved into a stronger faith, it became less about the fear of death and on to how I would die. As I continued to progress, it became less about how I would die, and more about getting to be with Jesus. How wonderful that time will be when it happens.
Now... This is not to say I am ready to go today! I love being alive in my Heaven on Earth. I love my husband, family, friends, Chewy, Toby, Yogi and even the kids we will someday have. I believe and trust in God's plan for our lives. I believe that he gives us the time he does for us to touch as many people as we can. We are here to work. We are here for purpose. Life is not meant to be easy, but it can be satisfactory. There can be joy. There can be happiness.
Today just kind of caught me off guard! I was saddened when I learned of the death of Natasha Richardson at 45. I looked at her birth year in 1963 and proceeded to burst into tears! She was a year younger than my Mom. I am not prepared to lose my Mom right now. I am almost 30 years old and still do not want to think of that! I cannot imagine her two young sons grieving over their mother. Being a teenager is hard enough.
These are the moments that remind me the most how fortunate we all are. It really is important to take the time and tell our families how much we love them. Not one day is ever promised to us. I hope everyone will take a moment to find their joy.
I have told my husband repeatedly over the years to celebrate when I go. I know this may sound morbid to some, but those are the ones who do not understand how deep this road of faith leads. I used to have such a fear of death. It was almost paralyzing in its entirety. Sometimes I would sit at home and worry only about dying! What is that! LOL... As I evolved into a stronger faith, it became less about the fear of death and on to how I would die. As I continued to progress, it became less about how I would die, and more about getting to be with Jesus. How wonderful that time will be when it happens.
Now... This is not to say I am ready to go today! I love being alive in my Heaven on Earth. I love my husband, family, friends, Chewy, Toby, Yogi and even the kids we will someday have. I believe and trust in God's plan for our lives. I believe that he gives us the time he does for us to touch as many people as we can. We are here to work. We are here for purpose. Life is not meant to be easy, but it can be satisfactory. There can be joy. There can be happiness.
Today just kind of caught me off guard! I was saddened when I learned of the death of Natasha Richardson at 45. I looked at her birth year in 1963 and proceeded to burst into tears! She was a year younger than my Mom. I am not prepared to lose my Mom right now. I am almost 30 years old and still do not want to think of that! I cannot imagine her two young sons grieving over their mother. Being a teenager is hard enough.
These are the moments that remind me the most how fortunate we all are. It really is important to take the time and tell our families how much we love them. Not one day is ever promised to us. I hope everyone will take a moment to find their joy.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Random.... Random.... Random....
I am laughing this morning. It is amazing I am even awake considering that I have been up since 4:30! Gosh, I am exhausted to say the least!
My morning has been full of fun!! Let's see... I have battled the great dog war. I don't think this is really fair for poor Yogi. He is all of ten pounds soaking wet. Chewy is 55 pounds of solid muscle just waiting to pounce! LOL. Oh, the anguishing cries of a baby puppy! :(
I am currently contemplating pizza for my second breakfast of the day! Technically this should be lunch since I have been up for hours and hours! I know... SUCH A HEALTHY CHOICE!!! :)
Cold rain is on its way to Huntsville today! It is going to rain all weekend! Good times with no sunshine!!! Such a shame because I was wanting to spend it at the park with the doggies walking and fishing! I cannot wait until it is warm all of the time. We enjoy it so much more when it is warmer outside. Last weekend it was in the 80s! I miss those days!!!
My morning has been full of fun!! Let's see... I have battled the great dog war. I don't think this is really fair for poor Yogi. He is all of ten pounds soaking wet. Chewy is 55 pounds of solid muscle just waiting to pounce! LOL. Oh, the anguishing cries of a baby puppy! :(
I am currently contemplating pizza for my second breakfast of the day! Technically this should be lunch since I have been up for hours and hours! I know... SUCH A HEALTHY CHOICE!!! :)
Cold rain is on its way to Huntsville today! It is going to rain all weekend! Good times with no sunshine!!! Such a shame because I was wanting to spend it at the park with the doggies walking and fishing! I cannot wait until it is warm all of the time. We enjoy it so much more when it is warmer outside. Last weekend it was in the 80s! I miss those days!!!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Bah... Ha... Ha...
Golly, I have been thinking about this blog for a while! I am really terrible about getting on here and updating it!
As I was sitting here in front of my computer, I realized my toe hurts. LOL. I know this is going to sound goofy, but I broke my middle toe on my left foot last month. I don't think it is ever going to heal! Any time I am on it for more than a few hours it begins to throb! This is difficult to avoid since I have joined so many new activities this last month.
I was offered a job at my tanning salon today. It cracked me up so much! I was complaining about the terrible customer service from the employees there to the district manager, and next thing you know I am offered a job! This is a good lesson learned: DO NOT COMPLAIN!!! :) Hehehe... I think it was one of those moments where they are like, "Oh yeah, let's see what you've got to offer." The funny thing is I think I might like to work there! Hey, free tanning is always a bonus!!!
I have a new puppy now. His name is Yogi. I feel so bad for the poor thing. He spends his days eating, sleeping and being abused by Chewbacca the Furor. LOL. I swear, I never knew my older husky could be so mean! He runs at full speed right at Yogi and plows him down like a tractor! Sweet little Yogi just stands there is a daze. I keep telling Chewy to be nice, but we shall see how this progresses! :)
I have started walking at night. It is really nice to just get out there with PJ and walk the neighborhood. We keep making so many new friends. Of course, I think they really just like me for my dog. Ha! Ha! Ha! He gets so much loving from random strangers! I am actually jealous! :) Anyway, between the walk at night and the gym in the morning, this weight is bound to come off of my little body! I am going to sweat it out!!!!!!!!
I guess the last think on my mind at this moment is the weather. You know, it has been 80+ all week long. Today I wake up to 50! What the heck is that business about! No one likes the cold weather! I want it to be warm. We always have so much fun in the summer time!
Out. Much Love.
PJsWife
As I was sitting here in front of my computer, I realized my toe hurts. LOL. I know this is going to sound goofy, but I broke my middle toe on my left foot last month. I don't think it is ever going to heal! Any time I am on it for more than a few hours it begins to throb! This is difficult to avoid since I have joined so many new activities this last month.
I was offered a job at my tanning salon today. It cracked me up so much! I was complaining about the terrible customer service from the employees there to the district manager, and next thing you know I am offered a job! This is a good lesson learned: DO NOT COMPLAIN!!! :) Hehehe... I think it was one of those moments where they are like, "Oh yeah, let's see what you've got to offer." The funny thing is I think I might like to work there! Hey, free tanning is always a bonus!!!
I have a new puppy now. His name is Yogi. I feel so bad for the poor thing. He spends his days eating, sleeping and being abused by Chewbacca the Furor. LOL. I swear, I never knew my older husky could be so mean! He runs at full speed right at Yogi and plows him down like a tractor! Sweet little Yogi just stands there is a daze. I keep telling Chewy to be nice, but we shall see how this progresses! :)
I have started walking at night. It is really nice to just get out there with PJ and walk the neighborhood. We keep making so many new friends. Of course, I think they really just like me for my dog. Ha! Ha! Ha! He gets so much loving from random strangers! I am actually jealous! :) Anyway, between the walk at night and the gym in the morning, this weight is bound to come off of my little body! I am going to sweat it out!!!!!!!!
I guess the last think on my mind at this moment is the weather. You know, it has been 80+ all week long. Today I wake up to 50! What the heck is that business about! No one likes the cold weather! I want it to be warm. We always have so much fun in the summer time!
Out. Much Love.
PJsWife
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Relaxation...... AHHH...
When you finally get a three day weekend away from the world, it is like regaining your freedom! I have never been so relaxed as I was this last weekend. It was really nice! I was so happy to be able to spend time with Patrick. ANYWHERE! :)
We took some time out and went to Tunica. It was my first trip, and I was pleasantly surprised with the good time we had! I actually won some money, and then proceeded to lose some money! Ha! We ended up winners, and we had a great time! I was really pleased with our experience. The only thing lacking was the bed in the hotel room, but hey, you cannot always win everything!
We have had so much fun together these last few months. He is really a great source of support for me. Sometimes I would really be lost without his patience, wisdom and guidance.
We have a new dog. I never knew that the sole source of joy for my sweet Chewbacca would be to torture an innocent puppy. LOL. Wow! The lessons we learn as our age progresses!
Speaking of age... Did I mention we are at 7 months and counting to 30!!!!!!!!!??????? Ahhh! Looking forward... Good times!
Out- D
We took some time out and went to Tunica. It was my first trip, and I was pleasantly surprised with the good time we had! I actually won some money, and then proceeded to lose some money! Ha! We ended up winners, and we had a great time! I was really pleased with our experience. The only thing lacking was the bed in the hotel room, but hey, you cannot always win everything!
We have had so much fun together these last few months. He is really a great source of support for me. Sometimes I would really be lost without his patience, wisdom and guidance.
We have a new dog. I never knew that the sole source of joy for my sweet Chewbacca would be to torture an innocent puppy. LOL. Wow! The lessons we learn as our age progresses!
Speaking of age... Did I mention we are at 7 months and counting to 30!!!!!!!!!??????? Ahhh! Looking forward... Good times!
Out- D
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Humor... When you have to have a sense of one...
Everyone who knows me knows what a challenge I have had with my husband's family since we were married. It has been a struggle to say the least! At times, we have all just been completely inappropriate with one another. I know that it does not make any one of us right. In fact, it makes us all the biggest creeps on the planet! Why would you honestly argue with your family to begin with?! Does it serve a purpose? Does it make things easier? Does anyone really come out of it feeling like the so called "winner," or do we all just feel like big creeps? I would like to think in my heart of hearts we all just feel like big creeps! I would like to believe that in our hearts we know that by hurting one another, we aren't serving any purpose.
A lot of times I spend days and weeks just feeling bad about the way everyone gets along. It hurts me because it hurts my husband so much. I don't know how to make him feel any better. I don't know how to console him when he feels like his family doesn't love him anymore. They always try to blame it on the fact that he is married, but that isn't the case. What happened all those years ago is that he became his own man. He grew into this different person. That person is the one I met, the one I fell in love with, and the one I married. I don't know him as the person they did before. Sometimes I wish I could so I could understand who it is they are always telling me he was. I would like to meet that person! I really would like to get to know him.
Instead, I am left here with a man who has been on two really difficult deployments. I am with a man who has had his heart so hardened by things he has seen and been a part of. I am with a man who can easily detach his emotions because he has known fear and death, and he doesn't know how to empathize anymore. I am not saying that he is a bad man by any means, but I am saying he is different. He has changed. He will never be that innocent naive man again. He will never just be pure of heart again. God knows I have prayed many a night for him to have his sense of innocence restored. I wish it were possible, but alas I know it is not.
I will continue to love him no matter what. I love him through all of the change. I love him as the person he is, not who I wish he would be, or as the person he was. I love him for being the very person he is in his heart.
A lot of times I spend days and weeks just feeling bad about the way everyone gets along. It hurts me because it hurts my husband so much. I don't know how to make him feel any better. I don't know how to console him when he feels like his family doesn't love him anymore. They always try to blame it on the fact that he is married, but that isn't the case. What happened all those years ago is that he became his own man. He grew into this different person. That person is the one I met, the one I fell in love with, and the one I married. I don't know him as the person they did before. Sometimes I wish I could so I could understand who it is they are always telling me he was. I would like to meet that person! I really would like to get to know him.
Instead, I am left here with a man who has been on two really difficult deployments. I am with a man who has had his heart so hardened by things he has seen and been a part of. I am with a man who can easily detach his emotions because he has known fear and death, and he doesn't know how to empathize anymore. I am not saying that he is a bad man by any means, but I am saying he is different. He has changed. He will never be that innocent naive man again. He will never just be pure of heart again. God knows I have prayed many a night for him to have his sense of innocence restored. I wish it were possible, but alas I know it is not.
I will continue to love him no matter what. I love him through all of the change. I love him as the person he is, not who I wish he would be, or as the person he was. I love him for being the very person he is in his heart.
Monday, February 9, 2009
My Weekend
Good good times! I had so much fun this weekend with my husband. Saturday was just hanging out watching movies. We have Netflix, and we love to hook it up to our TV, so we can watch all of the movies! It was a blast! Of course, we had the great church debate. I think this is customary every Sunday. After we passed through the morning routine, we went to eat! He took me to my favorite Mexican Restaurant. Yum! Then we went and ran some errands. Then he took me to play some Tennis. I loved that! Finally, we finished out with playing the new electronic version of Life for 4 hours! LOL. That was hilarious! I was so pissed because he kept beating me over and over again! I am boycotting next game! Well, maybe... LOL!!!!!! I am so blessed to have the husband I have! I love my life!
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